2:11am

dissapearing into nothing would be okay with me
my heart feels so heavy
this place feels so empty
sometimes I forget and look around for you
but then I remember
it’s just a ghost in memory now
memories are painful
my head is full
I want to forget
full of regret
I will never be able to sleep
Things always turn into complete shit
I just wanted this to work
I didn’t want it to be the last time
I didn’t want things to end like this
I don’t exist

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It’s easy to lose yourself because of someone. It’s easy to forget everything you learned and disciplined yourself to become because of some feeling that makes a home in your chest. You do a lot of stupid things for that feeling. You also laugh a lot, worry a fucking lot, cry a lot, think a lot and love a lot about life because of someone’s made a home inside of you. You lose track of yourself so easily. They can destroy your house and it’s often overlooked because you just can’t take your eyes off of this feeling. It is not worth it. Do not ever let someone destroy you for love.

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It’s so fucking twisted, you know. This whole “love” thing. Like really? You fall in love and you literally fall. You crash to the ground and I swear to god all your bones break. You’re fucking shattered but you don’t notice because you’ve got this beautiful girl whispering in your ear and kissing your neck and nothing else matters. But then she leaves and suddenly you feel it. You feel everything. And you’re hysterically crying in your car at 4 in the morning in some empty parking lot because it’s the only place that doesn’t taste like her and you’re trying to hold your bones together but her old anything won’t work as a cast, wrapping them around your chest won’t fix the craters in your ribs. Nothing stops the aching. (via brokenenigmatic)

(via tnagekcks)

1,146 notes

I have no idea why I hate attachment. Do not get attached to me.

but why?

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NEVER again. Go fuck yourself you selfish motherfucker

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I already know where this is headed and I want no part in it.

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There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise. Emery Allen (via fleurlungs)

(Source: wethinkwedream, via thelifeandtimesofe-dm)

111,447 notes
Stars are not small or gentle.
They are writhing and dying and burning.
They are not here to be pretty.
I am trying to learn from them.

Caitlyn Siehl, “Sky Poem” (via chocolatefrogs)

from my book, which can be purchased here:
http://wordsdance.com/what-we-buried/

(via alonesomes)

(via loveyourchaos)

15,066 notes
Learn to say ‘no’ without explaining yourself. (via awelltraveledwoman)

(Source: j-term, via itsnotthatserious)

641,901 notes
So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More Compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide Meredith Grey   (via 1112pm)

(Source: whilde-daisi, via 1112pm)

366,524 notes